Encouraging emotional expression at work can reduce stress, build trust and enhance overall job satisfaction – Phil Willcox shares practical steps to create a more supportive workplace

In the workplace, people lie about how they feel. 

Daily. 

And lying is rarely pleasurable. 

There are several reasons why people often feel the need to conceal their emotions. This can stem from feeling a lack of psychological safety or trust in the environment or team they are in, or it may be guided by the stigma around what are perceived to be ‘unacceptable’ emotions to vocalise in the context of the workplace (see Cheshin, 2020). When we then think about feeling ‘pleasure’ at work, lack of psychological safety, a trusting environment and stigma are all things that will undermine that. 

It is fundamental to encourage people to express how they feel across all emotions

This experience appears to be all too common, and some of the outcomes connected to masking our feelings include an increase in work-related stress and reduced pleasure in the work that we do. From our 2021 research on emotional wellbeing in the workplace, 84% of those who said it is not OK for them to share when they are feeling overwhelmed at work also said they do not find pleasure in the work that they do. 

To try and mitigate these outcomes, we, as team leaders, can look to try and improve the extent to which people feel psychologically safe. For this to be achievable, it is fundamental to encourage people to express how they feel across all emotions. If employees do not believe that they have psychological safety, then they will feel unable to express when they are unhappy, stressed, frustrated and/or overwhelmed. 

Therefore, we must normalise the process of expressing emotion in the workplace. 

Our recommendation would be to do this through a three-step phased process as follows:

1. Start small and safe 

If you are working with a team on an ongoing basis, emotion-based check-ins at the beginning of team meetings are a simple yet effective solution to encouraging emotion expression. 

Innocuous questions are a useful and practical way to allow employees to discuss how they feel without seeming overbearing. These are quick, easy and harmless questions that help prompt discussion while encouraging an element of emotional reflection. 

Perhaps this type of question takes form by asking employees: 

“What’s got you smiling recently?” 

Starting with easy questions such as this avoids heightening vulnerability or leaving employees feeling that they must disclose more information than they feel comfortable with. 

2. Start listening 

This means really listening. 

Asking open questions and creating an environment whereby employees feel safe enough to share how they feel can only be achieved if they are truly heard. 

Listening, in itself, is a skill, and developing any skill requires practice. It can be easy to lose our attention to intrusive thoughts – even more so when we care about what we are listening to. 

Should this happen during a conversation, it is important that you gather clarity to alleviate the risk of assuming what you heard when you were not giving your full attention.

Ways to do this may be to ask: 

“That really got me thinking while you were talking, and I think I may have missed something. Would you be willing to summarise for me so I fully understand?” 

Or: 

“To be clear you are saying… yes?” 

Arguably, the best free gift you can offer someone is your undivided attention. For this phased approach to be sustainable, it is vital that your employees feel completely heard without distraction. 

3. Stop fixing 

We often feel that upon hearing a problem or stressor being experienced by a member of our team then it is our job to resolve this issue. However, placing the power in the hands of the individual to express what (if any) help they require is important. 

Emotions are fleeting sensations that come and go. If our instinct is to solve the issue without allowing the individual to work through the emotion on their own then this can become counterproductive. 

The following are effective responses as and when someone shares an issue: 

“Is there anything you need or require from me?” 

“Is there something I can do to help?” 

“What, if anything, do you need from me?” 

It is important to trust that the individual can work through their issues and that if they require assistance from you then they will ask. What is important here is that you ensure that they understand if they need your help, now or in the future, then it is available. 

When you implement the above steps, once your team reach a stage where they are willing to disclose how they feel with you, this is a good indication that they feel safe in their environment, are trusted and, therefore, will find pleasure in their work. 

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Summer 2024: Emotion at Work is currently running a survey focused on emotion and wellbeing in the workplace. Would you be willing to spare a moment to share your thoughts? All responses are anonymous: https://emotionatwork.surveysparrow.com/s/emotional-wellbeing-2024-survey/tt-mRky-