Listen deeply, tune into the energy and let go – transformative facilitation tips from Fiona McBride

I live in the UK near Brighton and, when I can, I make sure I get myself to the seafront. It’s a lovely place to be, especially in the late autumn/early winter when the starlings put on one of their annual murmuration displays. You can spend a good hour or two watching the starlings swooping and weaving in harmony with each other.

I’ve found a power in stillness and calmness, when others are twisting, turning and swooping

This natural phenomenon is a mesmerising sight, and a beautiful reminder that when we come together with a shared purpose, we can create something far greater than we can alone. I talked to this point about communities in my last TJ blog. Recently, watching these birds move together in perfect harmony got me thinking how they must have to really be present and in tune with each other to move in this way.  

Being present is being connected 

As facilitators, our presence in a physical or virtual room can be one of the most powerful tools we bring into our work. I’m not just talking about a ‘physical presence’ but about being attuned, engaged and connected to the group we’re supporting at that moment.  

Being present can mean many things: listening deeply to what is being said and what’s not being said, tuning into the energy, emotions and requirements of the group. Connection needs a lot more than simply observing. Just as when one starling changes direction or speed, and each of the other birds in the flock responds to the change, I’d suggest so must we as facilitators.  

No leader here – trust the flow of the group 

There is no leader in a starling murmuration. As a biologist explains: “Scientists believe movements are co-ordinated by starlings observing what others around them are doing.” In the work of the facilitator, there can be a similar approach, being present within the group and supporting wherever it needs to go. Some of my best facilitation work has been when I’ve truly let go of the need to control anything, and trusted the group to take conversations where needed.  

There will always be an element of preparation in our facilitation work, but there is definitely an opportunity to allow space for creativity and needs of the group to emerge over time.  

Staying present quietly in the moment 

The facilitator role will sometimes require high energy and actions throughout a day, but at other times we step out of the way. Having an inner calm can create a foundation for me to be present quietly. It is a skill that I’ve needed to grow (with practise) over the years. 

I’ve found a power in stillness and calmness, when others are twisting, turning and swooping. In a number of situations, I’ve found people need this from me; I almost become an anchor for those who need grounding, connection and an opportunity to regroup. 

This can also be a complementary skill to have when I’m co-facilitating alongside someone else, and it can bring a different element to the work – one which we don’t often realise is needed.  

Facilitation, like a starling murmuration, is a dance. It is something that requires connection, awareness and presence. It is a beautiful thing when it is done well.  

I really hope this flight of fancy has inspired you to reflect on your own practice, and how the mesmerising dance of the starlings might help you to think about yourself, in your role as a facilitator, where and how you place yourself in the movement of the groups you serve.  

Reflection questions:   

• How do you ensure you tune into your group’s energy and needs?  

• What is in your toolkit/practice to help you listen deeply to the group? 

• How comfortable are you with ‘letting go’, and allowing the group to go whenever it needs to? 

• How comfortable are you with stillness and quiet moments in your facilitation practice? 

If you are ever near Brighton when the murmuration’s happen, I’d 100% recommend taking a moment to watch the starlings!  

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